Posts in Daily Notes
A Small Moment of Pause
comingoing.jpg

Writing the words “build on the improvement” a cringe — the familiar smell of a self help book. A flashback with its own difficulties, but it is not what you think.

When I set to take a photograph it is really important, to do it right and do it well, Then start to wonder if building on improvement should be a repetitive exercise, a needed one. Yet wonder if I am trying to innocently go tumbling into novelty’s inevitable slow death, from tedium.

Of course none of the above is intended except that when “do it right, do it well” followed by “build on the improvement”, dumps you into a conceptual limitation, similar cycle of life then death and rebirth. Because the result of attempting to “do it right, do it well” is never going to be good enough and you just have this one conscious life.

“Build on the improvement” as your motto is a personalized death trap, maybe It is just a catch phrase to keep a stereotype feeding line alive- a tyrannical rule of convention where your connection to consciousness is encouraged out of reach, because after all you are mortal and inconsequential. So instead of “building on improvement” why can’t we just search for that elusive manifestation of your being which allowed us to see in the first place.

”It is really important for me, to do it right and do it well”, and no more

-ponder!

Ackert Hook Rd, NY
7/20/2020

Daily NotesGuest User
Awareness

The order of things recoded and the images of them, the last is first and the first is last, the middle in its rightful place is the only constant. A familiar rendezvous, the kiss, then intimacy of a whisper to the ear. And would you know that much I can tell you the left to right chronology is moving away from the nearest now.

Longing in whispers
Shouting forsaken love
Longing in whispers
For you to come home

Profound Disappointment

Southbound on this country road my companion blurts “profound disappointment”, what is it about these two words coming together? The needed perversion: Disappointment must walk with profound to express it’s individuality… is disappointment so insecure that it cannot fully express itself without profound, and where does that leave profound devoid of proper agency and living validated by disappointment? A feeling of desperation, bad choices or the fact that things don’t turn out into the likenesses of fantasies and illusions?… The deck is stacked against you, so please step out and breathe, the fountain of youth is within reach.

And Waiting

/alone 

Being is waiting. Waiting with company makes for people in waiting, still having no choice in the matter we do it alone even in familiar company. Sitting quietly, going somewhere you wait wherever that my be. Yet awareness persists while at the same rate time unravels without mercy, alleviating your boredom by all means is necessary. Your mind does not take breaks, so why not Simply feel instead of wrestling with boredom, engaging in gratifying though potentially painful awareness.

The photographs are right in front staring amused at your predicament. The shutter released and for once you might have found the self, after all the self only belongs to mere existence... there... there... go ahead and pat yourself in the back, touching transcendence a possibility, now manifest in the form of an image. And after that truly amazing act of self you worry, there is a piece of you floating around shift-shaped into an image, what waiting means, took a step back to see, then felt because waiting and self take the same space you are in.

I learn to love, I love you. 

 Stoneridge 5/13/2019

Passing Time Looking at Things

Sucked into the vacuum /things-found

What is with desire? Maybe the place someone or something captures your attention, and sucks you into the vacuum of a peptide induced fancy. Those memories with their chemical makeup in tow, open an opportunity to look out the window through the core of self. Like a sugar high obsessive runs into compulsive while you feel, and then those glances can become added value. The value has to be contextualized for it to go from the pile of emotional existence into the realm of expression and growth, rather successful or not, is not as important as to begin the journey of self and understanding what this added value means.

Feeling sucked into the vacuum. A computer generated vortex of irrational drama, pausing in-between to contemplate what is around you, the realization that feeling alone is lovingly occupying space in time, and interacting with such space to interpret and understand what you see. The restlessness of finding out what drives the compulsive act of documenting with a camera, and when the shutter goes off there is no measure of value that can be applied to your subconscious intentions. But it is clear this conscious act is a re-arrangement of what goes underneath, consciously value adding a learned aesthetic arrangement to that impulse. In the end you decide what the desire adds and what it destroys.

Shultzville 4/13/2019

Daily NotesGuest User